The Real Board Coordinator’s Job Description

Help Desk

I can take two phone calls, set up an excel spreadsheet, book a conference call and send several emails – all at the same time.

Simultaneously, I can review two inboxes, update two calendars, book dinner for seven with parking, location map and two vegetarian options, knock up a PowerPoint presentation, courier a package and book three hotel rooms and flights.

Travel

Being able to speak every language and having visited all the countries in the world; I know every beach, tourist attraction and hotel intimately. I know all local customs and visa and vaccination requirements for all nationalities and countries. I am personally responsible for the food on the flight, for traffic jams, broken down hire cars, overbooked planes, late taxis, the weather, possible war and civil unrest, as well as the economic situation and adverse currency exchange rate fluctuations.

My magical powers enable me to get a room in a fully booked hotel and seats on fully booked planes and trains.  I can also arrange for planes to depart and arrive at your desired destinations at your preferred times.

I know that even though you asked me to book you a flight for Friday – you really wanted to travel on Saturday. Also, if you arrange a meeting with somebody over the phone and don’t tell me, I will telepathically know and will book and prepare a meeting room and arrange drinks.

Team Work

I smile, am sympathetic, and am happy to replace your psychiatrist as needed. I am equally happy in turn to be ignored, insulted and blamed in the interests of alleviating the frustrations of senior management in the workplace or external stakeholders – always calmly listening and trying to do better next time.

I can act, sing, dance and repair the printer. I replace the information desk, directory inquiries and the Post Office.

I am happy to get in early for meetings that (may) take place and work late for no extra money.

Also, I hate having time off. As I have no family or other interests my only desire is to selflessly serve in the workplace.

Oh and your jokes are hilarious.

A Board coordinator’s best attribute…

Be graceful on the surface whilst paddling like crazy under the waterline.